Character Gold: Doing Out of Being
Character Matters!
Success is an inside out process. True lasting success always starts on the inside of an individual. We must learn to “do out of being.” There are many people that have a “success veneer,” meaning they obtain an exceedingly high level of success because they are exceptionally talented and skilled at what they do, but internally it is not the same. Internally there are some character flaws. They are “being out of doing”.
“Eventually the chickens come home to roost, even if only in our minds.”
Chris, why should I care about the character flaws if I have success? Fair question. Truth be told many people rise to elevated levels of success and stay there for years. There are too many people to name. Some go to their graves in their positions of success with substantial amounts of power and material things. I offer you that we should be concerned about the character flaws, because if we do not there will be a trail of people, fellow humans, that we leave hurt in our wake. We might say we do not care, but when no one is in the room, we have to look at ourselves in the mirror and live with ourselves. And eventually the chickens come home to roost, even if only in our minds.
Often the external person develops faster than the internal person because we are talented. Our talent can bring more responsibility, authority, and promotions, while our morals, values, beliefs, and character remain neglected. When left undeveloped, whether stated or unstated a mantra of “the ends justify the means”, starts to develop. As we continue to sharpen our talent, more good things tend to come our way because we become very good at what we do. This is “being out of doing.”
Stop! What is this “being out of doing”?!? Glad you asked.
The more we do (utilize our talent successfully), we are “being out of doing.” It is when we do things, we are really really good at, and this leads to rewards. The rewards bring additional responsibilities, yet because we do not address the character flaws, we give the perception of a well put together executive, teacher, police officer, politician, accountant, loan officer, etc. But when external pressure is applied, the internal flaws will inevitably be exposed. This is the veneer; our talent makes us look very “shiny and polished and put together”.
“A lack of character development can lead to our own demise right under our very own noses.”
For example, we get promoted to a position of supervisory responsibility, and it is expected that we treat people fairly and manage resources with integrity. However, when temptation comes in whichever form it comes, and we succumb to the enticement, this is when the cracks and defects of the internal person start to develop. If left unchecked the defects will permeate the entire structure of the person and the house will inevitably one day collapse, due to a poorly constructed framework or a faulty foundation.
What makes the situation worse is as we ascend there are folks who start looking up to us. Our fall from grace, seemingly due to poor judgement, can be very heart breaking for those that admire us to observe and they may wonder, “How could that have happened?” I submit to you that it may have occurred because we did not develop a solid moral foundation, or values and beliefs system, or character prior to our ascension. Maybe we were “being out of doing” versus “doing out of being.”
Again, doing out of being leads to a lack of development in our morals, values, beliefs, and character. A lack of character development can lead to our own demise right under our very own noses. Sometimes we are arrogant. Sometimes we have a lack of self-awareness. Sometimes there are those in leadership roles who facilitate the lack of development by not holding us accountable to the standards they expect. Sometimes it is all of the above.
“Anything built without good character is a house of cards.”
A problem that often arises is it is so easy for us as individuals to focus on our talent development and neglect the character development. The benefits and results of developing talent can be seen quickly and are very satisfying. In addition, there are those supervisors who do not care about the internal development. They only care about the bottom line. This can further promote focusing on talent and neglecting character as the carrot is associated with producing immediate to short-term results.
Character development on the other hand takes a lot of time to develop and you often do not see the results of good character until much farther down the road. Yet good character provides the foundation upon which our long-term success can stand. Anything built without good character is a house of cards. Good character prevents nightmares from the “career ghosts of the past.”
True sustained long-term success is generated by going through “the process.” The process requires reflection, evaluation, a plan, action, and accountability. The process is NEVER fun! The process is often painful because we must confront the ugly sides of ourselves. It is so much easier to look at our “good side.” Now to be clear, as John Maxwell often says when it comes to talent do not work on your weaknesses, but when it comes to character, working on character flaws is imperative.
Next, we must go through the process of learning new thoughts, which lead to new actions, which leads to new habits, which leads to a change in character and ultimately a new destiny. And here is a secret, this process should be ongoing over our entire lives to have the true long-lasting success many of us desire. This is how you “do out of being.” The internal work leads to deposits. These deposits lead to the fuel that drives our external actions. The more deposits we make to address the character flaws, the more fuel we have. The more fuel we have, the more consistent our external behavior aligns with being a moral and ethical person. This is not a magic potion you rub on your hands and see instantaneous results. It only comes through consistent hard work.
On the other hand, when we are “being out of doing” (success veneer), the process moves much faster. We work on what we are already good at, and we get better and better. The main problem is the success is usually not able to stand the test of time. The veneer looks good until it must weather a major storm. Adversity often reveals true character. When the wind and rain of the hurricane beat against the veneer, often it reveals there is not much underneath the surface and the structure (character) is often frail. This many times leads to structural defects which can lead to structural compromise, despite the success the individual has seen. Infidelity to a spouse, embezzlement of money, sexual harassment, taking frustration out on your staff, blaming your staff for failures, taking the credit for successes your staff created are just a few ways the structural compromise can show up.
“It is impossible for us to behave consistently in a manner
that is incongruent to our internal belief system.”
From my perspective, a key reason for catastrophic compromise of our structures occurs when we failed to go through “the process.” We forfeit the opportunity to learn critical lessons at earlier stages in life when we are in obscurity and as a result, we could be postured to make better decisions as we moved to higher positions that bring us out of the background and on to center stage.
Mistakes made at lower levels or earlier stages in life are often unnoticed because we are not in a prominent position. And even if they do draw attention, we are able to recover more easily. I can recount numerous times as a young leader where I made mistakes due to a character flaw that someone had the courage to point out and I had the courage to address.
When the spotlight is on us and we have our moment in the sun, we must have the internal fortitude (character) to sustain us, or we run the risk of being exposed as a phony. We must “do out of being.” Doing out of being is when our external actions are driven by our internal composition. Something I have come to know over my almost 53 years on this earth is that it is impossible for us to behave consistently in a manner that is incongruent to our internal belief system.
John Maxwell said in his book Today Matters, “The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.” Additionally, Muhamad Ali said, ““The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights.”
“Character cannot be microwaved.”
We must begin today and then continually work to develop our talents and character each day of our lives with more emphasis on character. We cannot wait until we move into senior management, become a shift supervisor, become a partner, or become the assistant store manager. Once we are in these roles, it is EXPECTED that we will have sound character.
Character cannot be developed overnight. Character cannot be microwaved. Character must be developed day-by-day consistently over time. This leads to the compound interest effect.
What do you mean by the “compound interest effect”? Glad you asked!
Very simply put, the compound interest effect means when we work on our character consistently day after day it leads to exponential growth over time. It is likened to doubling a penny for 30 days. If I take one penny and double it every day after a couple of days it does not amount to much, but after 30 days I would have $5,368,709.12. Now character will not grow like that in 30 days, but if you work on character 30 months or 30 years, you will have accrued an exceptionally large amount of character capital available for use.
“Our actions will always default to the original internal setting.”
Character must go through the fire to be purified, much the same as precious metals. The impurities must be burned off and then what remains after having withstood the fire, is what is essential to long-term sustained success... “Character Gold.”
If you choose to go through this incremental daily process, when your time comes to ascend to a position of authority or responsibility, you will be well equipped, because you chose to learn and grow over time. To some onlookers, this may give the appearance that you are an overnight success. They may even call it luck.
All the while you have been cultivating your talent AND character for years. It is out of this abundance, we can make sound ethical, moral, and legal decisions to lead in the role we have been placed. It is from going through the process of development and growth, that we can “do out of being.” And when we “do out of being,” we are truly authentic.
When we do not act in a way that is congruent with our internal belief systems (character) then we appear schizophrenic. Our actions will always default to the original internal setting. Therefore, we must work daily on our character to reprogram our “system.”
“Poise means holding fast to your beliefs and acting in accordance with them, regardless of how bad or good the situation may be.
- John Wooden
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